Oh boy.
Now that the GRE has been taken, I have the daunting task of applying for various fellowships, grants, and graduate schools. It's not so much the task of filling out forms or writing personal statements that I find arduous; it's more the fact that, little by little, I find my childhood slipping away as I head down the road to adulthood and responsibility.
With the combination of the end of some of my childhood favorites (Harry Potter, Smallville, etc.) and the inauspicious addition of impending graduate school, it seems that my future is hitting me at full force without allowing me to gently ease into it. I suppose though that anything inevitable always comes at full force; the only difference between how it hits us is our perception of it, I suppose.
Who am I to complain though? I am simply going through the same process that every human being has ever gone through and will go through until either the end of time or our species evolves into incorporeal forms of matter. Like many of my brethren, I feel like I'm not ready.
I feel like my childhood was not a childhood, but rather a shove into adulthood. My undergraduate college years feel as if every day has passed and little has been achieved. I'm not ready. I'm afraid.
I suppose that's why I related so well to Harry Potter. He never had the typical childhood, and neither did I. Unlike me, however, he shouldered the burden put on him to defeat Lord Voldemort.
I guess that makes the struggles before me my own personal Dark Lord. And just like in Harry, my struggles are too a part of my soul. Perhaps it's time to batten down the hatches and charge full-force at this malevolent apparition before me. I can overcome it. I am stronger than the struggles of my own creation.
Here's to hoping it doesn't take the destruction of Hogwarts for me to move forward.
Best,
DF
