Love: It's All You Need!*

That's what we've heard, at least. We've also been told that we can accomplish anything as long as we put our minds to it, that we are all unique and special, that America is the greatest country in the world, that we should finish our food because starving kids in Africa don't have any, etc. etc. etc. I'm willing to bet that anyone living in most of the western hemisphere of the Earth has heard all these aphorisms over and over again to the point of them becoming ingrained into our solipsistic viewpoints on the world.

For most of our adolescence, these phrases hold a bit of water: we're the center of our parents' attention (mostly), the country in which we live is the greatest because we live in it, that we are so smart and wonderful because we're unique, that those starving kids in Africa don't really exist because they're so far away, and so on and so forth. It's an easy and narrow life, and some people really do have it that easy and narrow because they have the means by which they can procure all those ephemeral promises.

But then we grow and realize that, in fact, the world is so far away from centering on us that we might as well be any one of the millions of trans-Neptunian objects orbiting the sun. We aren't unique and special and wonderful and smart; in fact, most of us fall right on the mean of intelligence. That's fine, really, because we all have our own specialties and abilities, except a few million other people have those abilities too, probably. It's just probability: with 7 billion people in the world, 1 million is less than 1% of the population, even though that number is unconscionably large to us. Those starving kids in Africa? They exist where you live, too, and maybe they once had a life just like yours.

As for your country being the best in the world, whether it's America or not? Well, sorry to say, but in most western nations (Russia and India included), fewer than 10% of people control around 90% of all wealth. The number of millionaires, for example, living in London have nearly doubled from 10 years ago due to the rise of the banking sector, while middle-class wages have decidedly shrunk, and the poorer have gotten, as one would expect, poorer.

This is life, but not what many would focus on in their daily lives. Most people only care for their hellish bumper-to-bumper commute, their meetings, their plans for Friday night, getting a date, getting laid, getting a drink, getting a raise, getting a promotion, getting a big house, getting a new phone, getting a new car, getting a job, getting a sense of existence by way of self-indulgence. That in itself is not necessarily a bad thing, regardless of how it connotes in society; having things is nice. A computer is infinitely preferable to a typewriter (regardless of what some think; a typewriter won't correct your spelling mistkae), a fuel-efficient, functioning car is better than a lemon, more money is more comfortable than less. Especially in America, more money affords more opportunities, especially when it comes to education.

In many ways, however, it is bad, though that sense of 'bad' comes when we value the things rather than people, or turn people into 'things' themselves. Valuing the objects over a person or superimposing an object into a person is, as one might expect, sociopathic in the sense of non-empathy on the part of the one objectifying the other. The most common use of 'objectify' is, as one might expect from a million and a half television shows spouting the phrase at us, used in terms of sexuality, i.e. one person seeing another person as a bin of emotional and physical output rather than as a human being whose emotional and physical status holds repercussions for the first person. That's not what I'm talking about, however.

This is more an appeal for empathy, even from those who view others as adversaries or competitors in this grand scheme of existence. Nothing in this life is granted by birth except for the certainty of death. That is tautological to a point, but it then derives to a more basic question: how will one spend one's limited time?

Thinking that we're special and unique and that we can do anything if we just try is hokum. Think of the business and political world: it's not what you know that matters, but who you know. You can have achievements streaming out of your ears, but if someone has a better connection than you do for employment, there is a good chance that your achievements will continue streaming out your ears as you pound your head against a wall for not getting your desired position.

Why? Because connections will always be more important than strangers. It's difficult to tell a friend that you chose a stranger for a job over them because it almost seems like a breach of friendship, even if the stranger is strongly qualified.

At the same time, the stranger is strongly qualified. It isn't a personal statement about your dearth of abilities, it's a testament that you were even considered for such a position. Take it in stride and walk on, because the other person worked just as hard for that position, if not harder. Losing with grace is more important than winning, even if you think you are a special snowflake in the vast sea of a blizzard.

So, consider others. One of the most common platitudes is "put yourself in their shoes." It's good advice for all, considering that we all think we're unique and wonderful and living in the best country in the world. Maybe we don't know why some people overseas act the way they do, and so we think it's because they hate our way of life. Or, put yourself in their place, and think of how they see the world. Or, more simply, because we're all special and wonderful and living in our own minds sometimes, we neglect to consider how everyone else would act when we do. Taking yourself out of the center and gaining perspective is perhaps the best method by which we can understand why things happen.

So while there may be one million or so people like you, you still have the ability to be unique and wonderful and special just by caring. Go out and care. Go. Your life might just be improved for it.

That's all for now,
Das Flüg

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