Wednesday, July 22, 2015

The Trump Dump

Donald Trump is a joke. I'm not even going to provide you with any examples of that because I don't need to, nor do I want to; all you have to do is Google "Donald Trump" and I'm pretty sure the first hit that'll come up will be about something he said or did. He's the greatest living actor alive: he took on the role of a condescending, narcissistic talking cardboard box of a man for a TV show where people gargle on his testicles day in and day out, and apparently he's still living it, whether he realizes it or not.
He's also running for president of the US of A. Any political scientist worth their salt and poor salaries will tell you that he has about as much chance of winning the presidency, let alone the republican nomination, as most of the contestants on his shitty TV shows have at tasting anything other than the bitterness of defeat on the hairs of Trump's ballsack. Recent polls suggest that Trump is ahead of the other candidates, but polling is notoriously flawed.
But, for the sake of dreams and rainbows and 'fun,' let's imagine a world where Donald Trump has attained the republican nomination for president. (Keep in mind that this is also a world where pigs fly and human farts reverse global warming.) Now let's think about how various people would react on election day; I can think of a few:
  • "Donald Trump is the nominee? Better vote for the other guy/lady, whoever they are."
  • "Donald Trump is the nominee? Sweet! Let me go grab my gun and shoot some immigrants! Oh, and vote too!"
  • "I wasn't going to vote for him anyway."
  • "Donald Trump is the nominee? Well, this just delegitimizes the entire American political process and demonstrates precisely that only the wealthy can attain power in the country, whether it's directly or indirectly by lobbying! I'm not voting. Now I'm going to go to Chipotle and fight global warming."
  • "We have elections in America?"
I'd say that covers it. Speaking of coverage, I get that news stations are supposed to cover candidates, but come on, guys. If you want a smarter electorate, give us smarter programming that's not about self-aware vacuum cleaners.

That's all for now, Das Flüg 



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