Women.

To me, the most perplexing and mysterious species to inhabit the universe. I've heard many things about women, most of which is contradictory and confusing. For instance, I have heard that women like nice guys, but at the same time, they are attracted to "badassery." I have heard that women like smart guys, but at the same time, it isn't hard to find pretty women with less-than-brilliant guys.

I'm a nerd. I'm a vegetarian nerd. I'm a vegetarian nerd that hates contemporary music. I'm a vegetarian nerd that hates contemporary music who also plays sports. I feel badly if I even THINK that I might have hit an animal with my car. Based on that, should I not be swimming in interested girls?

Nope. Not even close. The first judgment of the opposite sex is based on appearance, dress, etc. (Though it sometimes boils down to parental issues, but I don't care to blather on about behavioral psychology.) I don't wear the pretentious, cheap crap that Hollister, American Eagle, Abercrombie, and the like sell. I buy my clothes at either A. Target, or B. Thrift stores. Actually, most of my clothes are from things like soccer and various college-associated junk, which I get for free. Whoop-de-doo.

I own one Hollister shirt, and that is because I was applying for a job there. I bought the shirt 15 minutes before the interview, and I didn't get the job. The shirt is extraordinarily tight. I don't like it.

So what if I don't put a tubful of gel in my hair, or don't wear the latest stupid clothing fads? A good pair of Levi jeans is worth a million bucks to me. Ideally, attraction would be based on emotional and mental characteristics. Pssh, yeah right. Our attraction to other individuals is based on the ancestral need to place good genes in our offspring. So what if I have blue eyes? I'm 5'8; being short doesn't help.

At least John Lennon figured something out.


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