Das Düfüs! (In case you have not yet figured it out, I replace my "U's" with umlaos.)

In case you did not understand the concept of this picture, it is Barney Stinson (Neil Patrick Harris) displaying one of his many idiosyncratic rules to Bro-dom: The Hot-Crazy Scale. The underlying concept of this is to weigh a girl's hotness to her craziness and see which one comes out on top. Yes girls, you are just a bit crazy, even if you don't want to admit it.

Aside from the How I Met Your Mother reference (Monday nights, 8 P.M., CBS; no, I was not paid to say that), I shall relate a story of how some girls tiptoe the line, while others drive a tank over it.

My first story comes from my friend, who, for the purpose of anonymity, will be called Willie; the girl will be called Stephanie. Willie had been dating Stephanie for the better part of a year and several months. Things had seemed to go well, except for several instances of Stephanie becoming irritated because Willie had chosen to spend some time with his friends instead of being incarcerated in her company. As the story was related to me, Willie, Stephanie and a friend were driving and Willie had to use the bathroom (Willie usually has to pee every 10 minutes; he seems to have the bladder of a pregnant woman). When Willie stepped out of the car to relieve himself, Stephanie apparently began vilifying Willie in front of the friend (let's call him "Jim," just for the hell of it). She began saying things such as "This is the last straw," and "I've had enough." Needless to say, Jim was bewildered. Anyone and everyone who knows Willie knows that his bladder is the size of a peanut. So, Willie and Stephanie had a fight and broke up. Then, according to several other stories that I have heard, Stephanie went crazy and began to hook up with extremely random people, all the while stating that she was the innocent victim of his bladder. Willie, on the other hand, was confounded at what had happened. He wallowed around for a bit until he hooked up with a much hotter girl at a party. Oddly enough, Stephanie found out, made her facebook status "Willie and (Jane) hooked up... that's really cute <3." Just another demonstration of how facebook can be used to wage impersonal attacks. Sad.

My second story comes directly from me, sadly enough. I had started hooking up with a girl early in August. Quite literally, the second time we met up, she invited me to her house, and since she was driving, I had no reason to not agree. Upon entering her house, she introduced me to her entire family. When I say entire family, I don't mean her parents and siblings; I mean her grandparents and some extended family. Obviously, I felt like suddenly remembering that I had a dentist's appointment in 5 minutes. I suffered through that LARGE ordeal and continued to hook up with her for several more weeks. I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt, seeing as she thought that her family had left (not to mention that she is a dancer, nice body). After that, we had a short talk about how, since we are going to colleges in separate states, should not pursue a relationship. I also did not want a relationship with her since we had nothing in common, and usually nothing to talk about. However, several weeks later, I went to pick her up at her house. She told me to come in, for whatever reason. Being a gentleman, I obliged, only to find myself in an awkward confrontation with her mother, father, and pregnant sister. It seems that she had invited me in (at least superficially) to watch a video of Tiger Woods farting while playing golf. Fascinating, eh? I also find it fascinating that she was forcing me to meet her family, even though I told her EXPLICITLY that I did not want a relationship. I did not want any of the caveats of a relationship; I only wanted to have a good time. Essentially, I was hoping that the bastion of "friends with benefits" would hold solid. I have not talked to her since then.

To you women (if any read this blog anyway), do not take offense; these are only singular cases (hopefully). I am hoping that not all girls are emotionally dependent, or a little odd in the head, or anything of the sort. Honestly, you can't control the world and force us into relationships. You need to realize that if we do not want to be in a relationship, your efforts to force us into one will only end with a dissolved friendship. I advise you to think logically before you take any such action.

Sorry that this entry hasn't had the usual pleasantries. I'll rectify that in my next entry.

Das Flüg